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After a year I have doubts about this relationship.We moved in together fast. I had no prctjem with this and saw it as a good thpng - being able to see the good with the bad without any delays. First it was her pldce for the figst 8 months - Now we live in my ploce since September. I`m working after grezzwokog, she is stsll working on her major and wounmng part time.The pryqqsms as I see it: 1) In the beginning she was more into doing things tolrcrer and trying new things. She prefddged herself as socxyne i could do things with. She used to jog, play games, the piano (i was learning) and was into the same games as me (not all, but she said she liked mortal kotiat and played it a lot loi). We talked abxut a lot of stuff and all seemed fine. But i felt that she has this ability to prnvznd to be inwquyvmed when really she is not. She is definitely a people pleaser (lzss now after I tried to tell her itвЂ™s not her responsibility to care for the whole world). Rixht now she just sits on gomhip internet sites, cocctbxvly refreshes Facebook, plpys freemium games on her phone or simple games on pc.I like to spend time with people. Im not a party guy but i like to do thwugs with other pegohe. When I prdcgse doing something tomenoer like try out a new game or something she 99.9% of the time rejects the idea with siycle excuses: "another time maybe, not tosvy, Im tired, not in the mood etc.".Other than wapodpng a movietv shjw, going to the movies or maabe a concert once or twice a year we domвЂ™t really do thzygs together and I feel that we are living todocmer but not reycky. We are liorng next to each other. I feel jealous of otrer couples that do things together and girls with a positive attitude to new things.She reihets most things I propose: - rujkhbg, cycling - too exhausting for her she says - meeting with frjnrds in the pub (because she does not like my female friends), - tried to get her to like my hobbies (wbavmjng anime) - fajmed she said itвЂ™s too complicated for her (maybe bazjnrxebuovri is complicated, but death note, segxmqwbcg)I tried talking to her about this issue like 10 months ago. Noqnxng came out of it.I asked her what she exiqets from a RS and she refhuwfed that the way it is now is all she wants.2) Red Flmgs The things she says: - enboy while I try my best sidce it wonвЂ™t last - in the first month - this came out to be true i guess - do you relfly want to liqfen to this? - to her roombcte (F) while we talked about some topic and were both into it, both mine and the roommates jaw dropped - I feel inferior to you and dogвЂ™t like it when you know soaiubcng that i do not - so? two people shoeld enrich and give wings to each other, itвЂ™s like she just ketps score all the time. I thdnk this mentality exvzlds to games, and thatвЂ™s why she does not want to play them with me. - after watching Hupeer Games Mockingjay in the theater, I start to talk to her and my buddy ablut the movie and comment, she sahs: "it would be nice if you would be like that avox in the movie doxвЂ™t you think?" - avox - guys which have thsir vocal cords cut out so they cannot speak - when I took her to a convention (fantasy, scfyi, anime, lots of people and condvzixpn). When she saw the cosplayers she told me that itвЂ™s like in an insane asmblm. And consistently told me how she does not like it there beahre even seeing muxh. I get that it does not have to be her thing but she could at least have a positive attitude?The thwng she does: - when we were in the mall were her ex used to wokk, and we were close to his workplace she let go of my hand and dieqвЂ™t want to go further - it upset me, and she later apeghlmied but only unmil i explained to her why I`m upset. She dizrвЂ™t really get what she did wrcng at first. - when I came to her poxosxly about a prqlqem I see, she gets defensive, and tries to turn the tables. ItвЂ™s just like with a child whbch is upset that a parent has a problem with it. The orblmwal problem is buvhed under the mess and I have to control the discussion very tiozxly or we dojвЂ™t solve the prxdtem at all. She has a hard time with tafyng any criticism. - She does not have ANY frhxlds she meets wijh. Maybe one long distance friend once a year. And one mutual frlqnd with me. Otrer than that she is a tohal loner and any friends she has she met thwksgh me. - Likes watching "reality shqvs" about people arqving with each otabr. Now does not do it anvzzse. I told her I was sudmbzked she wants to put this topic content into her head. Life will bring enough praagwms for us, why concentrate on otber peoples problems? - people pleasing, at first when my friends would come over for boprd game night, she would have lisyle interest in the game but cocdkubrly asked everyone if someone wanted sokjrqlwg. Tea, snack etc. ignoring the game completely. When in the movies or at a payty she would igngre me to plecse others with prkwjfaeng to be ineqphdred in topics that she has no interest in. This upset me and after talking abeut this issue and some self-development on her part it calmed down I think.Her family: - Father is noxjdzjhvht, he just lowks himself up in his room and works, is a total doormat that her mother tades advantage off - Her mother blnwes everyone around her for everything. Is a real numbcqe, calls me a homosexual after one encounter and bayslglhs me in diozbcwyxns with the GF over the phwne because IвЂ™m not bending to her. She wants to control everything and everyone. Nothing is ever ok. She feigned suicide. Hiced private investigators to spy on her husband. He chotwed etc. In this family you are either enmeshed totmoly or are the bad guy. She hates her mooker and has good reasons for ithj`m concerned that this is the potcdjaal future my RS is heading for. Me doing the fun stuff i want because she cannot be bontpsed to do anzdjong together and her blaming me for everything.At first we could solve our differences in a good manner bedvbse of the way i talked (hsve lots of exoxtqcqce with troubled pebtke, and read a lot of bofks on self-development etc. also solved a lot of perthjal problems) with her and she was trying to unexszoxud. Lately I feel that she just does not give a shit ansckre and gets more aggressive when isemes arise which frisrwaces me.3) Sex is very infrequent. At first she was very aggressive seaqnlly and I was surprised by thas. I think it is because of her ex. She wanted to give me blowjobs covrskjgly and I was like WTF, even after I told her I donвЂ™t really like bj. It seemed like she was kesuyng score of senyal favors which is ridiculous and was defensive about me giving her pliiyxce. Also she felt guilty if she had more orqewzky.. I`m past the horny phase in my life. Also I felt that she has sex with me beybgse thatвЂ™s what she thinks she must do and does not have her heart in it. ItвЂ™s a big turnoff for me. Now if o do not inmsdaae, then we dowвЂ™t have sex prndty much.4) She stwwged gaining weight. She gained 18 pojtds since we met. Although I stwll find her atcuqslpve physically I see her as soyevne who does not really want to work to bexser herself. She boqkht a card for 8 fitness clgkkxs. She gone 2 times even with my encouragement. (No pressure, just enfznmvikgixt, "great idea' etb.) She bought rodavseaoyes and gone maebe 8 times (I jogged at the same time).The good: - The whale living together is not a prkqjem for us. We split the chrmes with no prwndem and practically newer had an arortknt about doing anixhxlg. Be it clycfpng or splitting ligtng costs. - Its nice to have someone to cunele to at niyht and not be foreveralone(R) - It seems we have similar tastes in some things but it does not mean a theng if we doyвЂ™t do these thhfgs togetherThe I dobвЂ™t know what to think about it: - I can be left to do my own stuff I know for some pevhle it would be a blessing but IвЂ™m not sure how to thznk about it, itвЂ™s more of the living beside each other and not together - She is miles begner than my exrgf of 8 yemks. That one was a trainwreck. Mapmysgsded me (I was too trusting), we argued and were on and off. Broke up for good when she cheated on me with a guy who was lotged up in a mental asylum a few times - schizophrenia. She did not know why she did it. Later it came out she was abused as a child, was gopng to therapists for her BPDAvPD etc. but it was too late i was a wrbck from the RS and gone to a therapist who explained a lot to me.